Things I wish I knew Earlier in Life

As a young woman in her 20s, I often find myself reminiscing over my high school and college years- wondering what I could have done differently and what I’m most grateful for. Believe me when I say I’m by no means an expert; and I am still learning and growing everyday. But if you are a girl in your teens, 20s, or 30s, here are some lessons I wish I had learned sooner

The Journey Matters More Than the Destination. When people say, “it’s about the journey, not the destination,” they’re absolutely right. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve fallen into the trap of “once I get this, I’ll be happy.” Once I get this job, I’ll be happy. Once I make more money I’ll be content. But the truth is, when you live this way, you never stop to enjoy the scenery- you’re always chasing the next goal, always looking forward, but never truly present.

The hard reality is that even when you achieve what you were striving for, there will always be a “when.” That momentary joy will fade, and you’ll find yourself in pursuit of something else.

Now don’t get me wrong-setting goals and striving for more is part of being human. Growth is beautiful. But while you are climbing the mountain, take the time to look around, not just up. Whether you are in school, starting a career, or figuring out your next step, romanticize the process. Enjoy studying, find something valuable in your job even if you don’t love it, and learn to appreciate the present. Because this-the journey- is the best part of the climb.

Love can wait. For as long as I can remember, I fantasized about love, marriage-the whole nine yards. But it wasn’t until recently that I began to appreciate the fact that I have never been in a relationship. I now see it as a blessing that I didn’t fall in love too early, in high school or college.

The truth is I wasn’t as wise as I thought I was. I would have fallen for the first man with a charming smile and the right words. I would have accepted the bare minimum because I didn’t know better.

What I’ve learned as I’ve matured is that while being loved is wonderful, being loved by the wrong person can derail your life, disrupt your plans and damage your future. Love should never require you to lose yourself. The right love will cherish you, honor you, and walk beside you as you become the best version of yourself. That kind of love is worth waiting for.

You Need Good Female Friends. No, women are not complicated or full of drama- you’re just surrounding yourself with the wrong ones.

Good friends will mention your name in rooms you aren’t in. They’ll celebrate your small wins and stand by you in difficult times. They’ll hold you accountable, push you towards your goals, and remind you of your worth.

True female friendships bring laughter, support, and memories that last a lifetime. If you have good friends, cherish them- you’re not just gaining friends; you’re gaining sisters.

Start Journaling. A journal is one of the best gifts you can give yourself. It allows you to pour out your thoughts on paper, process your emotions in real time, and document your growth.

I didn’t take journaling seriously until 2023, but looking back on my old entries, I see how far I’ve come. It’s a beautiful reminder of progress and gratitude. Start today- you’ll thank yourself later.

Stop seeking validation from others. When you rely on external validation, people’s approval will make you, and their disapproval will break you. You’ll constantly look to others to determine your worth.

Validation is a drug, and once you start seeking it, you’ll keep chasing it- even at the cost of your self-worth.

Take it from someone who’s been there (and is still learning this lesson): Take your power out of other people’s hands and place it in God’s. You have a right to take up space. You are just as valuable as anyone else in this world. You are deserving- and you don’t need anyone else to tell you that.

Comparison is a signal- Not a measure of your worth. You already know that comparison steals your joy, but here’s another truth; it also reveals what you desire, not what you lack.

For over a year, I’ve been trying to learn to sew. While I’ve improved , I am nowhere near where I want to be. Whenever I see people on Instagram effortlessly creating their own clothes, I catch myself comparing my progress to theirs.

But that feeling isn’t telling me to sulk- it’s pushing me to get up and keep practicing. Comparison should be a signal for growth, not a reason to doubt yourself. Instead of letting it discourage you, let it drive you to take action toward your goals.

Put God first. I don’t know where you stand in your relationship with God, but I encourage you to take steps to know him daily. Read your bible, pray on the way to work or school. Worship, memorize scripture. Having God in your life brings a sense of peace that nothing in this world can offer. In a world of uncertainty, He is your anchor.

These are just a few lessons I wish I had learned sooner, and I’m still learning every day. Life is a journey, not a race. Be patient with yourself, embrace growth, and most importantly, live- because this moment is just as important as the future you’re working toward.