Signs that you have true friends

"Ointment and perfume delight the heart, and the sweetness of mans friend gives delight by hearty counsel." -Proverbs 27:9

One of the strange things about getting older is that you realize how impermanent most friendships are. Many friendships exist out of proximity- school, work or shared environments. But as life evolves so do these connections. Some friendships fade, while others stand the test of time. In this post, I hope to share some insights on recognizing true friendships.

They Celebrate you. A good friend is genuinely happy for you when you succeed. You should feel excited to share accomplishments with them knowing that they will celebrate you. Oftentimes, my friends are more excited to celebrate my achievement than I am.

They hold you accountable. Good friends don't tell you what you want to hear, they tell you what you need to hear. They care enough to call you out when necessary , not because they find joy in criticizing you, but because they want to help you grow. Real friendships are built on honesty and accountability should only strengthen your bond.

You can trust them with anything. Trust is the foundation of any real friendship. You should be able to confide in your friends without fear that they will share it with others. If you ever find yourself questioning whether someone will keep your secrets, that is not the friend for you.

You leave them feeling uplifted not drained. Pay attention to how you feel after spending time with someone. Good friends leave you feeling cheerful and lighter, and happier- not emotionally drained or exhausted. When I am with my closest friends, my problems may still exist, but for a moment, all I feel is love and support.

They make an effort to stay in touch. Don't get me wrong, I know that everybody has something going on in their lives but I am a firm believer that you are never too busy to send a quick "Hey, how are you" text. Just like relationships require effort from both sides, so do friendships. Your real inner circle of friends make an effort, even as simple as a 5 minute phone call.

You feel like yourself around them. If you feel like you have to change who you are or adjust your personality to fit into a certain group or dynamic, those are not the friends for. True friends allow you to completely be yourself-no forced smiles, fake laughter, or altered opinions just to fit in.         

Friendship doesn't have to be complicated. Pay attention to how you feel when you are around certain people, listen to your gut and trust your intuition. If you haven't found your tribe yet, that's okay. You will meet people along the way that will shower you with the love and friendship you deserve.